The Meaning Of Chaos

Q. What does C.H.A.O.S. Stand For?
A. Chief Has Arrived On Scene

God & The Chief

A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates. He told himself, "I am a fire chief, and I'm not going to wait in line." He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in, I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "You'll have to wait in line like everyone else, sir." While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white helmet that said "CHIEF." The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief was really upset now and went to talk to the angels. He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all wrong, sir. That's GOD, he just thinks he's a fire chief."

Firefighters & HAZMAT

How firefighters identify a HAZMAT chemical using the Tri-COP-Scope Method:
1. Officer standing/Car running: Not hazardous
2. Officer unconscious/Car running: Toxic fumes
3. Officer unconscious/Car stalled: Oxygen displacing chemical
4. Officer/Car both melting: Acidic chemical
5. Officer/Car on fire: Extremely flammable