FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF GRAVITY:
tool, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible
FIRST RULE OF EQUIPMENT:
piece of firefighting equipment will never malfunction or fail until
a. You need it to fight a fire
B.the salesman leaves.
SECOND RULE OF EQUIPMENT:
parts don't, leak proof seals aren't and self-starters won't.
FIREFIGHTER'S RULES OF THE BATHROOM:
a. If you have just gone to the bathroom, no call will be received.
b. If you have no just gone to the bathroom, you will soon regret it.
probability of receiving a call increases proportionally to the time
elapsed since last going to the bathroom.
RULES OF WARNING DEVICES:
a. The use of a siren on a firefighting vehicle while responding to a call will cause acute and total (but temporary) deafness to the drivers of vehicles in its path.
The use of warning lights on a firefighting vehicle while responding
to a call will cause acute and total (but temporary) blindness to
the drivers of vehicles in its path.
FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF LIGHT:
the seriousness of any given situation increases, the availability
of light to illuminate the situation decreases.
FIREFIGHTER'S THEORY OF WEIGHT:
weight of the equipment that you are about to carry increases by the
square of the sum of the distance to reach the situation.
FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF RULES:
As soon as the firefighting rules are
accepted as absolutes, an exception to that rule will immediately